Living in the Now

There is a little nagging feeling that's been bothering me ever since I decided to move back to Vermont to resume my crazy awesome job at the animal shelter. A strange little feeling that pops up every now and then in response to one of my usual thoughts: "What's next?" You see, for as long as I can remember, my life has been about moving onto the next thing. I've spent the past ten years- since sophomore year of high school!- constantly thinking about what I'm going to do next, and where I'm going to go. All throughout high school I daydreamed about college, about going somewhere "cool" and having a "real life." Then in college, after a brief honeymoon period where I truly was living in the present, I spent most of my time- when I wasn't under the influence, of course ;-)- planning my future. I couldn't wait to move to Los Angeles...then it wasn't good enough, and I couldn't wait to leave. Back in Vermont, I had a job I loved, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing out and there were better things somewhere else. And of course here in NYC, I realized that I truly had a good thing going at the shelter, and it's what I'm doing, rather than where I am, that makes me happy. So now, aside from going back to the shelter, I have no plans. I don't have a timeline for when I'm going to save enough money and up and move to the other side of the country. I'm not planning on opening up a map of the USA, closing my eyes, pointing my finger and randomly picking the next place to go. I'm just going to stay in Vermont as long as I'm happy, and see what opportunities arise. And this lack of a plan, this lack of structure or perceived control, terrifies me.

It's not easy to live in the present moment, even on a small scale. Aren't we always looking for the next thing, anticipating what's ahead? On Wednesday, we're wishing it was Friday. In spring, we're pining away for summer. We can't wait til we get that promotion, or move into a bigger place, or lose ten pounds, or meet the guy of our dreams. Then, we think, our lives will be better. But you know what? Chances are we already have a pretty damn good life. I know I do- I just need to allow the good to come in, and I need to slow down and appreciate my day to day life. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time living in the present. I think it's a mix of my adventure-seeking personality, always wanting to experience something new, plus my need for always having a challenge in front of me. I know it's going to be hard to stay in the present in Vermont- especially when things get rough and it's winter (I hate winter with a fiery passion) and I've been doing virtually the same thing every day for months- but I'm really going to try, and I decided to start right now!

So today I woke up intent on living today for today- doing things that make me happy, being "indulgent" in my weird running freak way, and not thinking too much about tomorrow or next month or next year. I started the day by sleeping late- I slept til 7:00! Then, after feeding the furkids, I lazed around for a bit and ate exactly what I was craving, 2 slices of spelt bread with pb&j.


I ate what's shown times two. Can I once again proclaim my undying love for spelt bread? It's epic, especially for a wheat-free chica like me.

After walking the pup in the cool and beautiful 65 degree weather, I had another half slice of spelt bread plain (unshown) and then geared up for a long run. I was hoping to redeem myself for Tuesday's craptastic run. I had a great day for it! I run so much better in cool weather. I took it easy since my last few runs have been on the speedier side, and I wanted to just take in all the beautiful scenery and gorgeous weather! I really enjoyed this run from start to finish and felt great the whole time.

I ended up running 16.18 miles- thanks, Garmin- in 2:23:41 for an 8:53 pace.


I may or may not have shed a tear as I thought about leaving Central Park, the love of my running life :-(

At home I made sure to stretch like woah. My dog decided I was gross and tried to help by giving me a bath with her tongue. Gee, thanks Cirrus. Before showering, I crossed something off my to-do list and cleaned the tub/shower! Um yeah, it hadn't been cleaned for way too long. I have very long hair and it was like that Dashboard Confessional song that goes, "Your hair is everywhere..." no infidelities were screamed though, so that's a plus.

After scrubbing, showering and putting on a clean pair of Nike Tempo shorts- hey, it's my day to live in the present and I want to do it in comfort!- I whipped up the best green smoothie I've ever had. Into the blender went:

-1 c. coconut milk
-1 banana
-lots of frozen mango
-about half a cup of frozen blueberries
-2 giant handfuls of spinach


Adding a full cup of coconut milk as opposed to 3/4 a cup of coconut milk and 1/4 or so cup of water made a HUGE difference! It was so thick, creamy and delicious. I need to move to the tropics...I love me some coconut. It made a full glass plus some extra which I may or may not have eaten out of the blender with a spoon.


I putzed around for a bit, then decided to go to the UWS Whole Foods!!! Because I'm living in the present, I love Whole Foods and I wanted to get something decadent for dessert tonight! So I ate a Lara Bar...


Drank some Vitamin Water Zero for electrolytes...


And I was off! I took the cross-town bus for possibly the last time (not that I'm sad about that, ha!) and walked the mile or so to The Mecca. I love the UWS location because it's never crowded. The Union Square location is always insane. I got to take my time perusing the aisles and looking for some new foodie finds, including protein powder to give my smoothies more staying power, and a new flavor of Purely Decadant Coconut Milk Ice Cream! Unfortunately, I was so distracted by actually being able to WALK through the store and stop to look at something when I wanted to, that I forgot to buy tomatoes and cucs for my salads. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

I walked the mile or so back to the bus and was hungry for a snack when I got home around 3:30! Enter carrots & hummus, of course!


I ate a lot more than that- about 2/3 of the bag of carrots, as usual! Who needs fake tanner when you've got that beta carotene orange glow?!

Dinner was exactly what I'd been craving- a ginormous salad with romaine, baby lettuce, carrots, red pepper, half an avocado, some black beans, some chickpeas, EVOO & balsamic.

Yo' salad so big, it's got its own zip code!

Of course dinner was basically just a means to an end...dessert! I broke out the Cookie Dough Purely Decadent Coconut Milk Ice Cream!

Soy free and gluten free and full of deliciousness! I love this brand of ice cream, it makes my life a lot better.


The nutrition info seems pretty similar to regular premium ice cream...except the saturated fats in coconut are medium-chain fatty acids, which are used for energy much more readily rather than being stored as fat. Me likey! This ice cream had huge chunks of cookie dough and lots of chocolate pieces. The only thing that wasn't absolutely amazing was the vanilla ice cream. I've had the Purely Decadant Vanilla flavor before, and it was sooo good with little flecks of vanilla bean. It tasted just like Ben & Jerry's World's Best Vanilla! But this vanilla ice cream wasn't as good! Kind of weird considering it's the same brand, no?


It was still really good though...and I finished off about 2/3 of the pint!

I was going to eat cherries after dinner but I'm completely stuffed! They will have to wait til tomorrow!

I'm going to end this day of living in the present with an episode of Big Love, playtime with my dog, and not thinking about going to work tomorrow! Take that, future!