Exercise Addiction?

I've been working, cleaning and organizing all the live-long day, so my food post will have to wait til tomorrow. But there's something else I wanted to talk about: Exercise addiction.

I know a lot of people claim to be gym/endorphin/running addicts. I definitely joke about the fact that running is my drug of choice! And while I don't typically take this very seriously, sometimes it becomes very clear that my mind and body need exercise to function properly, and when I don't keep to my usual running routine I tend to fall apart!

Today is the second day in a row that I haven't run or worked out. Aside from walking my dog and walking for my commute to & from work, I have been sitting on my butt at work all day. Yesterday was my weekly rest day, and today I attempted to set my alarm back 10 minutes but actually fell back to sleep before I hit "save." UGH! I was up til midnight making some changes and additions to this blog, when I should have just gone to bed so I could get up and run. I packed my gym clothes to get a quick speedwork session in after work, but ended up having to train a new girl at work all day (surprise!) which meant I had a lot to finish after work and I left half an hour late. My apartment looked like a disaster zone and/or like the scene of a cat kegger (hair and litter everywhere), I needed to get cat litter desperately, and I had to make the decision between cleaning or running. After a lot of internal arguing and stress, I realized I had to clean. I couldn't even walk in my apartment barefoot without getting litter or hair all over my feet, and I just can't have my pets living like that!

Even though my mind was set, I was not ok with skipping my workout for the second day in a row. I felt panicky all day, overly stressed, and actually almost cried in the grocery store just thinking about the fact that I hadn't run since Friday. My body was dying for movement and my brain was telling me I was going to gain 40 pounds overnight without my usual run. I felt out of completely out of control!

I came home and went into cleaning frenzy mode. Litterboxes were changed, the floors were vacuumed & mopped and the countertops and toilet were cleaned. After that I felt sooooo much better. I was actually able to talk to myself and tell myself that it's ok- and maybe even beneficial- to take two days off in a row before my training cycle begins. After all, I took exactly two days off after the marathon, and I didn't blow up. I didn't lose any fitness. I probably could have taken more time off and been fine. And my legs deserve a little break to rest up before I ask them to run 50-60 miles per week for four months and pound out a sub-4 hour marathon. Right now I actually feel ok, dare I say good, about taking 2 consecutive rest days. I feel extra motivated to get up early and run the 8 mile loop around the park and back tomorrow morning.

What I think I've realized is that I use exercise to deal with pretty much everything life throws at me. Bad day? Pound out some hard intervals. Need to make a big decision? Go for a long run somewhere peaceful and quiet. Got some good news? Celebrate with some fartleks while rocking out to Aerosmith on my ipod. I am dealing with a lot of stress right now due to moving and needing to pack up and wrap up my life in NYC in a very short amount of time. On top of that, I felt like my apartment was such a huge mess. It made me feel very out of control, but one thing that I was counting on was running- the comfort of my usual routes, the daily addition of a couple more miles, and the time spent out of the apartment and alone with my thoughts. There may be a lot of changes coming up, but running is one constant in my life that I have always relied on since I was fifteen years old.

This left me with the obvious question- is it healthy to be an exercise addict, to use running as a way to deal with stress and the trials of everyday life? I think it depends on the situation. For me, if I wasn't a runner I think I'd be a very grumpy person with a lot of nervous energy. I think it's actually very productive to use exercise to sort through problems and banish stress. It's not good to actually start tearing up at the thought of a rest day, but when you have a lot on your plate sometimes the very best thing you can do is walk away from it all, lace up your shoes and head out the door. Running often gives me the perspective I need to solve problems and think clearly. It allows me to step away from my problems for a while, and gives me a feeling of accomplishment that makes me confident in tackling whatever life throws at me. Because of this, I think my exercise addiction is actually beneficial. I mean hey, I could be addicted to a lot worse things ;-) Yes, I do use running as a way to control my life to a certain extent. But I also use it as a way to feel free. I don't run away from my problems, because I know they will still be there when I get back home. I run because without running, the molehill-sized problems seem like Mount Everest!

What do you think? Are you an exercise junkie? Do you think your "addiction" helps you or hinders you?